The presumptions attitude of how life “Should” be handled.

Dear Diary,

While people stick their finger up their own buttholes and tickle themselves, looking in the mirror and tell them how they’re so special unique, sometimes afterwards they then wave that finger under my nose and try and tell me that I’m not living life how I should be.

They’re not polite about it, they pretend they’re being polite when in reality they’re simply telling me I’m living my life wrong. This may be really vague, so let me be upfront about it.

Marriage and Children.

Often do I explain to people, calmly and with a nonjudgmental tone, that I have no interest in either. Accompanied with my calm explanation I often get the incredibly responses that I’m wrong about this. I’m told I will eventually change my fundamental position and philosophy once I meet the right person and swing into the romance that is marriage. After this I’m told I will eventually decide that I want to raise offspring of my own because it is the only thing that could ever bring me joy in this world. It’s explained to me that these things are inherent to people and that my position is that of either rebellious silliness or confusion. At least these are the implications of the “polite” conversation being had with me.

How fucking condescending are people that they do this? It’s one thing to have a hypothesis that these things are hardwired into our brain, I suppose I can respect this position, but to tell with utter confidence that I’m just wrong about about my own feelings and that once I realize this they’ll start going about life properly is quite another thing.

It’s utterly insane that people want to be unique but then turn around and try to enforce things about their life on everyone else. People who need this sort of comfort with their own decisions might ask themselves whether or not they’re really happy with the decisions they made. Do they really know why they want these things? Have they thought about it? Can they put into words why these things are so fundamentally important to them? If you’re a person that sticks your shitty finger into other peoples business I’m guessing that this type of inquiry is non-existent in your life.

If you have children and are happy, great. If you’re married and happy, great. I know a couple who love their children more than anything, except maybe each other. This is the fairy-tail that everyone loves, but it’s a reality for them. I respect them and have nothing but applause for their understanding of their own wants and needs and their realization of them. So, in short, I have no hate for people going about their lives this way. It’s not for me though.

It’s one thing to think someone is being immoral and bring it to the table of discussion, even if not polite to do so directly, but it’s quite another to bring to the table the idea that you think the fact that they aren’t married or having children is losing potential. It’d be equally as inappropriate for me to bring to the table that I think you’re so stupid for suggesting that, that all the atoms in your dumb body are wasted potential for the universe.  I however actually keep that kind of thing to myself. Or post it on my blog. Whatever.

So in the end, Marriage and Children are not things I want in my life. Anyone trying to argue that my feelings and wants aren’t what they are can lick my taint. Seriously, scrape any grossness off your tongue so you can get a full blast of flavor because it’ll be just as good as your shitty nonsense that you might just die from pleasure.




Role-playing, Live action, online, and meta gaming

Dear Diary,

There’s not a weirder relationship I have than with role-playing. It’s not something I hold with such high regard that I stick around smelling my own role-playing farts, but I certainly don’t dislike it. It’s a really fun way to pass the time, challenges your insecurities and makes you push for creativity. The great thing is there aren’t any serious consequences for failing at this either. With live action role-play if you fail at being creative you can throw away your character, start a new, and everyone has to pretend to be interested in you because there’s usually not enough going on in the beginning of the night to distract them from the fact that you did so badly before. In online role-play there’s the opposite problem, there’s so many friggen people doing it you can just throw out a person and it won’t matter… you just go grab a new one. So role-play is cool.

So what I wanted to talk about is…. meta gaming. What is meta gaming? Well the meta is you. You aren’t your character, you know more than your character. You have to try and role-play your character as if you only know what your character knows. If you game as if your character knows what you know, it’s called meta gaming. In LARP depending on how bad it is it can be called cheating. If your older character dies and you know who killed him… walking in with a new character screaming that the person killed him is gonna be cheating, you’ll be slapped on the wrist or flat out kicked out. In online role-play you’ll probably get thrown away.

However some meta gaming is actually not only okay it’s a GOOD thing to do. Let’s talk over a situation I’ve known about as a good example of meta gaming.

I don’t know all the details, but basically someone’s character was looking for someone and because of the situation his emotions would have lead him to keep searching for this other person before returning to the other vampires to go… ya know have fun and role-play and such. So when he searched for a while eventually the storyteller said “Hey this isn’t gonna get resolved this way, if you come and role-play I assure you this will be resolved.” but he sternly refused. No, his character WOULD NOT do that. Not ever. So guess what he had the pleasure of doing? Sitting around not role-playing for the majority of the night. I think maybe he gave in eventually, but he really wasted huge chunks of his time.

So, how does this apply to online role-play? Well I remember once I got in an awkward situation with a role-player where my character had conflict with them. My character’s conflict got resolved by a third party and even though I had already added the person who I had conflict with… she assured me in a player to player basis that her character was so offended that she WOULD NOT under ANY circumstances not try and physically harm my character. This is analogous to the sitting around searching for someone example. We both wanted to role-play with each other, we both liked the personalities we drew up for our characters, but she was sabotaging the role-play by making sure her character was PERFECTLY consistent. Maybe you can get away with these sorts of things in online role-play because ya know…. throw the person away and find new role-play… but I feel like there’s a lot of missed opportunities because of an unwillingness to let the meta guide your character just a little bit so you can ya know… have fun. These are extreme examples, but in many cases it’s more subtle. Your unwillingness to break character even a little bit can make certain situations being role-played monotonously. With just a slight tweak to their behavior you can move on to more fun role-play.

There was a quote that someone told me in terms of the LARP role-play and that is this. “When role-playing, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be role-playing the MOST exciting time of this characters life. You should absolutely let boundaries of normality be broken, emotional behavior to kick into your character, cause it just creates more fun role-play.” This is extremely paraphrased, but the point remains valid and it’s not a point I made myself. In fact the person I’m quoting is quoting someone else so…. yeah.

Remember role-play is for fun, getting stuck in consistency and sabotaging fun is just a waste of time.